you're brakeing up ("is seriousness an artifice?")

it is fun times scrolling through the t9 dictionary on my phone. it takes all the words i send in text messages that the phone’s dictionary doesn’t recognize and stores them for a while. so i typed out a list of them, in order of appearance, then took out a few, combined multiple phrases into single lines, added space breaks, etc…but i never messed with the order. and i think the result is pretty neat-o:

bamboodist aargh birdie bitch
collaborate…fun anniversary…maybe
bowie brody
asshole bullshit bumblebee cunt
but…probably cutest
away…anyway
aww…kitten…just
decapitated foods…send enslin fruity
fucking 4.3
g’night
haha halloween
he’s
get-up
goddamn

it’s
guacamole
hugenormous
guy’s kalimba
lemme li’l liby’s low-pitched
mantis

maybe…i
nevermind

nighty nikki ninja
ooh
oogly
mmm
oooh
motherfucking
mucus

7? sacs
scariest panda sammich
sara’s seahorse seasoning…ymmm

regurgitating selflessness
semester…i sexing shiftiest shifty shit
similar…the
pissing skanks snatchers
smell…perhaps
someday…we
sorry…i
soulmates
psh

stardust puke punkin
taco tattooed terms…i
though
unhatched
we’re
wearable

whew
ymmm

it would seem that cell phone dictionaries do not come equipped with sufficient vulgarities. my favorites are “asshole bullshit bumblebee cunt,” the “nighty nikki ninja” stanza, “regurgitating selflessness,” and “though/unhatched/we’re/wearable.” it’s kind of like magnetic poetry, but the words are mine. i like it.