viruses…trojans…malware…goodness, my computer was so profoundly infected. and it still is. this one nasty little rat-shit piece of bastard will not go away. but at least i can actually use my computer again, for the first time in a week…for as long as it lasts. why can’t everything just work the way it’s supposed to all the time? that should be a rule…at least during finals week, for fucks sake.
i think i’m going to continue my blog, because surprisingly the novelty hasn’t worn off yet. it feels like it’s about to…but i think maybe it will be a good motivator for me, to keep me writing. so we’ll see.
maybe i’ll turn it into a dream journal, at least in part. i love keeping dream journals; they make such awesome fuel for poetry later on. i had a horrifying nightmare about vivisection the other night…there was a monkey hooked up to this machine, with a chord going into its brain that made so the monkey never had to eat or sleep or anything, all it could do was stay awake and feel pain. the machine simulated car crashes, over and over again, never stopping. in the dream it brought me to my knees and i was sobbing, then i started gagging and woke up and cried some more. i wanted to write a poem about it, but i can never manage to write poetry about things like that…i can’t get past the feeling that i’m exploiting someone else’s pain, no matter how genuinely i feel about it.